finding the qualitative wins in the quantifiable ones

As I have previously discussed in my 01/01/21 post, the strategy to keep the Overly Critical Voice from running us into a Shame Spiral is to PRAISE ourselves for our "Wins," or whenever we do the Harder thing. The purpose of saying, "I'm proud of me for _________" or "I love me."

QUANTIFIABLE VS QUALITATIVE (a quick review):
QUANTifiable —> Doing & Thinking —> DISconnected/  over investment in the Physical World / Consumerism/ Comparing Self to Others
(Focused on the Past or the Future)

QUALitative —> “FEELINGS”: Emotions & Body Sensations —> CONNECTION / SPIRITUAL WORLD/ INTERCONNECTEDNESS (being PRESENT and in the moment)

QUAL Problems can ONLY be solved w/ QUAL Solutions
QUAL Problems are Emotional Problems. For example, SHAME (“I’m not good enough”) and HOPELESSNESS (“I’ll never be good enough”)

QUANT Problems can ONLY be solved w/ QUANT Solutions

***The mistake all humans make is that we try to solve QUALitative Problems w/ QUANTifiable Solutions.*** QUANTifiable attempts to solve the QUALitative Problem will NEVER work to Heal the Emotional Wound.
This is what Brené Brown calls “Contingent Self Worth:” checking off the boxes [QUANT] to finally believe I am Good Enough [QUAL].

SOLUTION: Praise Myself for the QUANTifiable AND QUALitative harder things.
After having practiced praising my wins for about a year, I had become very good at praising myself for doing the things on my Checklist [QUANT harder things]. But even though I was doing all these great things AND Praising myself for what I was doing, the energy of checking off all these harder things on my list created, an uncomfortable, Future-Focused energy of, “Ok what’s next!?! Keep going!” ...My Overly Critical Voice found a way to negate my "enoughness."

This is like how connecting Happiness [QUAL] to Focusing on losing weight/ how many Pounds I weigh/ what size I wear [QUANT] will unfortunately not work.
The solution lies in the real goal: Me being happy with what I see when I look in the mirror [QUAL]; not focusing on the numbers.

Strategy: “I’m proud of me for __________.”  (when I do the harder thing).
1. Keeping praising my QUANTifiable Wins:
“I’m proud of me for __________.”
A. What I DID.

2. Find the QUALitative Win(s) within the QUANTifiable Win:
“I’m proud of me for __________.”
B. Not Avoiding
C. Facing my fears
D.  Leaning into the pain, not avoiding it
Not criticizing myself
E. Praising myself
F. Praising myself even though I was not very happy with the outcome of what I did
G. Gathering the Evidence (identifying how I did the harder thing in the moment)
H. Being Present and in the moment
I. Being Connected
J. Not looking at it as “all or nothing.”
K. Being fair to myself
L. Listening to my Body
M. Forgiving myself
N. Not Isolating
O. Being Vulnerable in front of someone
P. Setting my Healthy, reasonable Boundaries
Q. Enforcing my Healthy, reasonable Boundaries
R. Using a Healthy Coping Skill to lower my lava level
S. Not comparing myself to others
T. Not comparing myself to an idea
U. Getting out of my comfort zone
V. Finding the Qualitative win
W. Taking care of my mental health / actively working against my depression or anxiety
X. Working towards my goal of being happy w/ what I see in the mirror.
Y. Not giving into distractions.
Z. Not feeding my compulsion
ZZ. Admitting I am not in control